Friday, June 8, 2012

Yep. Mmhmm.

Hey, y'all:

Boy howdy, tuhday was a day like no other.

Me an' my folks went tuh bed last night an' I felt like I'd been hit by a truck I tell ya what. Next thing I knew, I woke up 'bout four in the mornin' in THE most beautiful place this side o' the Bluegrass State (that's Kintucky, ya know). There was all these good-lookin' gals standin' over me - they looked like ANGELS! They was all excited an' worked up an' gigglin' (you know how gals are) an' said "Welcome home, Hanklin D!!!"

Now you can imagine my confewsion - not only 'cause I dint know whut the hail they were talkin' 'bout but buhcause I din't need help standin' up an' my tail wuz curled up tighter than a gnat's butt stretched over a rain barrel. So I said, "Uh, gals....ya wanna tell me whut's goin' on??". They all moved aside tuh let this one
step forward, an' holy mother o' GAWD it wuz my gal pal PAYTON!!!

Payton told me that this place was the Rainbow Bridge. Now I've heard a lot about RB but it is a sight tuh buhold I tell ya what. ALLLLL kinds o' junk that yer mom never let ya eat an' ice-cold PBR flows from a big ol' red, white an' blue fountain! WINGO!!!

Me an' Payton made our way through the fields an' flowers an' soon enough it was a big ol' sisters Becca an' O'Mally (still flappin' her jaws, o' course), Emmitt, Stubby, Betty, Lilo, Maggie, Carson, Yoda. Hail, I was even glad tuh see Tiko, the old bat of a cat I used tuh live with. My gawd it was good tuh be with my friends again! We all hugged an' laughed an' chased each other around like a buncha young pups! Good times I tell ya what.

Anyhoo...they caught some ZZZs after all that so I took a little stroll tuh git the lay o' the land, an' YOU are NOT gonna BUHLIEVE who I come acrosst.....The Good Lord Hisself!! I swear tuh GAWD I did!!!

Now I gotta was perty intimidatin' meetin' The Ol' Boy face tuh face, but He put me right at ease. He assed me tuh walk with Him an' we had a real nice conversation. (He even fergave me fer killin' fitty men in 'Nam!) Perty soon the sun was settin' an' it was gittin' time tuh flop on a cloud bed, but I had a important question. I said "Uh...God, sir......this is one helluva place an' I am honored tuh be in yer presence, but I don't git why I'm here. I thought a fella had tuh do somethin' REAL important tuh make it tuh The Bridge. I mean, I never really done nothin' that special on earth.

I just helped my dad around the house

an' watched over O'Mally

an' made room fer some foster kids

an' gave folks a few laughs an' smiles.

Yeah, sure, everbuddy I met felt like they'd made a friend but that's no big dill".

Well, I am here tuh tell YOU. That Ol' Boy picked me up, gave me a BIG squeeze, scratched my ears, an' said "Well done, good and faithful servant".

Yep. Mmhmm.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Hank, Why do Ya Drink?

Hey, y'all:

Well, oncest again, I'm past due on a blog post. I finally got all these foster kids outta my house, so now I can catch up a little.

I gotta tell ya.....I ain't been feelin' too good lately an' git tired real easy. My mom says it's prolly a lifetime o' sluggin' PBR (pppphhhhht!). I'm thinkin' I picked up a case o' that Agent Orange in 'Nam. Hail, who knows.

Speakin' o' drinkin'.....I gotta admit I had a few too many the other day an' FELL in the POOOOL!

No worries, y'all! I swum my way tuh the top!

Aint Laura an' Sal an' Toby stopped by one day fer a visit. Aint Laura bought us cheeseboogers! Here I am restin' my full gut.

It's been a real nice spring here in Indiana so me an' mom been spending some time out in the yard (when I ain't nappin', that is.) Here's a pitcher dad snapped of us.

Now I know whut y'all are prolly thinkin'. Y'all are prolly thinkin' "Hail! Whut's a big strong handsome pug man like HANK doin' all snuggled up in his MOM's arms???"

Well, whut can I say? I guess I'll always be "Mommy's Little Guy".

Yep. Mmhmm.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Summer's A'commin'....

Hey, y'all:

My mom's gittin' all hot in the pants like she always does this time o' year. Me an' dad put up a new pool fer her last fall an' she is chompin' at the bit I tell ya what!

Anyways, I overheard her sayin' somethin' 'bout wantin' a floatin' cooler so I got on the Ebays an' found this fer her.

Think she'll like it?

I know IIII will!!!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Catchin' Up

Hey, Y'all:

I wanna apologize fer my absence in the past month. There's been a HAIL of a lotta stuff goin' on but first an' foremost, I am sendin' my love up tuh my gal, Payton, who went tuh the Bridge. She was the pertiest, strongest gal I ever laid eyes on. Just wish I woulda had the chance tuh make 'er my own.

'Til we meet again, honey.

Now the last time I got on my blog machine, that Pebbles gal was about tuh meet some folks that might wanna adopt 'er. Well, fer whutever reason, they thought she was the bee's knees an' they took 'er home that very day! Here she is with 'er new folks an' brother, Tuck.

So not long after Pebbles hit the road, my mom up an' went tuh ENGLAND. (Can you buhlieve she din't take me with 'er??) Anyhoo, I spent the week with Ms. Liz an' JoeJack an' Ivan. It was all fine an' dandy 'til Ivan (the hot head German Shorthaired Pointer) got all hot in the butt 'cause I got a hold of his soup bone. Lousy way tuh treat a guest if ya ass ME. It went a little something like this:


Well, he got me in the eyeball. Yep. (Thank GAWD it was my BAD eye!) So Ms. Liz had tuh run me tuh the hospital an' they done surgery on it. An' if THAT wasn't bad enough my mom was acrosst the pond, drinkin' 'er tea, an' wanderin' the streets o' London - not with ME like she shoulda been.

Dad an' Ms. Liz duhcided not tuh tell 'er til she got home. I, fer one, wanted tuh guilt 'er intuh comin' home but Dad said some BS 'bout not wantin' tuh ruin 'er trip. PFFFFFT! Oh, well, I finally fergave the old gal an' I healed up real good. All's well that ends well I tell ya what.

Just as I'm gittin' back in my routine, Mom hauls another foster kid intuh the house!! This one's name is Rocky. It oughtta be STOCKY....kid could stand tuh lose a pound er' two.

Now this kid's not toooo bad but he's a lot bigger an' younger than me. I've had tuh chew 'im out a couple o' times fer gettin' too rough (an' threaten 'im with some o' the hand-tuh-hand combat I learned in 'Nam).

I think I'm gittin' 'im perty well under control. At least he's figgerin' out who gits the best seat in the house!

Yep. Mmhmm.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Peeps for Pebbles?

Hello, it is me, Pebbles Marie!

Wow, it's been a whirlwind three weeks! I've been boarded at a vet's office, de-fleaed, de-wormed, bathed, had my palate shortened, my teeth cleaned, and my uterus, tonsils and four teeth removed! WHEW!!!

But I'm happy to say I feel REALLY good and have enjoyed my stay with Hank and his folks. Miss Sarah and Mr. Scott sure do have a LOT of rules (phooey!) but I must admit I kinda like it. Hank's such a nice, laid-back guy that I don't always know what to do, but Miss Sarah has helped me out. (Sheesh....she's kinda bossy!)

Anyway, tomorrow will be a very exciting day because I am meeting a couple who just might become my furever family! They sure do seem nice in their emails and are anxious to add a new pug to their home. I guess their former puggy died of old age and their Lab really misses his brother. I don't think I'll mind sharing a home with a Lab. That is, as long as IIIIII am the lap dog!

Hank, do you have any words of wisdom for me before I go?

Uh.....(crunch, munch).....yeah, sure, honey. (Snort, smack) Mind yer manners, (slurp), keep poopin' outside (nom, nom, nom) an' remember tuh (lick, lick, lick....BURP) keep yer TEETH off their hands!

BRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!! Oh, 'scuse me.

Wish me luck!

Friday, February 10, 2012

Pebbles an' Pampers

Hey, y'all:

Well, I got another kid tuh break in. This gal's name is Pebbles an' she's five years old. Poor kid; she's spent most o' her five years pumpin' out puppies an' livin' in a barn.

Um, yeah.....she ACTS like she was born in a barn!

Anyhoo, the kid's havin' her "lady days" right now so she's gotta wear a butt rug. Me? I been wearin' my nice new sweater that my Aunt Melissa made me!

I got red, white an' blue fer the good ol' U. S. of A. - AN' fer PBR!

So anyways, this Pebbles is a perty good kid but she's got tuh learn some manners. But she's comin' along real good. She's gonna have her "lady operation" next week so that oughtta settle 'er down a bit.

Now I got a question fer you gals. The other day she assed me tuh git 'er some chocolate ice cream an' a hot water bottle, so I hoofed on over tuh the K-Mart. When I gave 'em to 'er she got all teary an' started BAWLIN' like a FOOL! I assed 'er whut was wrong an' she ran off tuh the bedroom an' said she dint wanna talk about it!

Whut the HAIL happened????

Yep. Mmhmm.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

So long, kid

Hey, y'all:

Well, I'm happy tuh report that the kid found herself a real nice ferever home - in just nine days!

This lady an' her daughter came all the way up from Bloomington (a good hour drive) tuh meet the kid, and let me tell you they hit it off.

Matter o' fact, the lady sent my mom this pitcher the very next day.

(We like this a lot 'cause she's got the stuffie we bought 'er.)

So all in all, it was real good fer Cutie, me AN' MOM 'cause she livened up the joint fer a bit an' put a spring in our steps. An' we're real happy fer her new mom. Her dog died last year an' she's been takin' her time findin' the right one. We think she DID I tell ya what.

Now I gotta was kinda sad lettin' the kid go, but she likes tuh run an' play an' carry on an' I just don't do that no more.

Plus, her new mom has some grandkids who just LOVE dogs, so they'll keep her ennertained fer sure.

Okay, kid.....I done taught ya ever'thing I know. Live long an' prosper, honey!

Yep. Mmhmm.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Adventures in Babysittin'

Hey, y'all:

'Member how last summer I said I was lookin' fer a job? Well, I found one.

Now as y'all prolly know, I'm not real fond o' kids.....always up in yer face, an' screamin' an' actin' a fool. an' mom are fosterin' a real nice five-month-old kid that come intuh the Kentuckiana Pug Rescue. She dint have a name (ain't that sad?) so we're callin 'er "Cutie".

Yeah, she ain't like most kids. She's real quite and kinda polite! I been showin' the kid around the house an' ennertainin' 'er with stories 'bout my tour o' dooty in Da Nang. As you can see, I got 'er on the edge of 'er seat.

Mom took 'er to the Petco yesterday an' got 'er this jacket - the kid gits cold perty easy!

Anyhoo, she's been doin' real good with goin' tuh the terlit outside. (I showed 'er all the good spots.)

Hail, she's such a nice kid she even stopped tuh bow 'er head an' pray in our memory garden.

"Come on, kid. Don't be shy. Say hi tuh all my blog pals!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I smell funny. You will, TOO when you git old!"

So after I done some potty trainin' we headed back inside tuh warm up. Check out this little face. I bet I was this cute when I was a kid.

Yep, so that's all the news that's fit tuh print. I'll keep ya updated on the kid. This babysittin' gig ain't too bad! I think ever'thing's gonna work out fine, an'.......


Yep. Mmhmm.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Joe Jack's Rockin' New Year's Eve


('Scuse me whilst I adjust this ice pack on my melon.)

Okay, that's better.

So anyhoo, hope y'all had a fun new year's eve. My folks went to a party, an' I went tuh Joe Jack's Rockin' New Year's Eve......WINGO! Joe Jack throws the best parties I tell ya what. He don't skimp on the PBR an' BBQ cocktail weenies.

Speakin' o' weenies....this was his kid brother Ivan's first new year's eve. Yeah, you know how KIDS are....can't hold their liquor an' start actin' a FOOL I tell ya what.

I hollered at Joe Jack tuh bring me summa them weenies, an' Ivan flops on the couch an' does THIS. Yeah, real funny.

"I done TOLD ya, Ivan!! We AIN'T playin' Nekkit Twister!!!!"

Sigh........GAWD. Anyways, tuhnight I was enjoyin' a after-dinner binky that my galpal Payton sent me when I started thinkin' 'bout whut kinda new year's resolution I should make. I chewed it over a bit but I just can't think o' nothin' I need tuh change 'bout myself.

Well, maybe ONE thing. I resolve tuh let mom scratch my chin as much as she wants. Yeah, it's a gonna be a struggle I tell ya what but I think I can han'le it.

Yep. Mmmhmm.