Friday, June 8, 2012

Yep. Mmhmm.

Hey, y'all:

Boy howdy, tuhday was a day like no other.

Me an' my folks went tuh bed last night an' I felt like I'd been hit by a truck I tell ya what. Next thing I knew, I woke up 'bout four in the mornin' in THE most beautiful place this side o' the Bluegrass State (that's Kintucky, ya know). There was all these good-lookin' gals standin' over me - they looked like ANGELS! They was all excited an' worked up an' gigglin' (you know how gals are) an' said "Welcome home, Hanklin D!!!"

Now you can imagine my confewsion - not only 'cause I dint know whut the hail they were talkin' 'bout but buhcause I din't need help standin' up an' my tail wuz curled up tighter than a gnat's butt stretched over a rain barrel. So I said, "Uh, gals....ya wanna tell me whut's goin' on??". They all moved aside tuh let this one
step forward, an' holy mother o' GAWD it wuz my gal pal PAYTON!!!

Payton told me that this place was the Rainbow Bridge. Now I've heard a lot about RB but it is a sight tuh buhold I tell ya what. ALLLLL kinds o' junk that yer mom never let ya eat an' ice-cold PBR flows from a big ol' red, white an' blue fountain! WINGO!!!

Me an' Payton made our way through the fields an' flowers an' soon enough it was a big ol' sisters Becca an' O'Mally (still flappin' her jaws, o' course), Emmitt, Stubby, Betty, Lilo, Maggie, Carson, Yoda. Hail, I was even glad tuh see Tiko, the old bat of a cat I used tuh live with. My gawd it was good tuh be with my friends again! We all hugged an' laughed an' chased each other around like a buncha young pups! Good times I tell ya what.

Anyhoo...they caught some ZZZs after all that so I took a little stroll tuh git the lay o' the land, an' YOU are NOT gonna BUHLIEVE who I come acrosst.....The Good Lord Hisself!! I swear tuh GAWD I did!!!

Now I gotta was perty intimidatin' meetin' The Ol' Boy face tuh face, but He put me right at ease. He assed me tuh walk with Him an' we had a real nice conversation. (He even fergave me fer killin' fitty men in 'Nam!) Perty soon the sun was settin' an' it was gittin' time tuh flop on a cloud bed, but I had a important question. I said "Uh...God, sir......this is one helluva place an' I am honored tuh be in yer presence, but I don't git why I'm here. I thought a fella had tuh do somethin' REAL important tuh make it tuh The Bridge. I mean, I never really done nothin' that special on earth.

I just helped my dad around the house

an' watched over O'Mally

an' made room fer some foster kids

an' gave folks a few laughs an' smiles.

Yeah, sure, everbuddy I met felt like they'd made a friend but that's no big dill".

Well, I am here tuh tell YOU. That Ol' Boy picked me up, gave me a BIG squeeze, scratched my ears, an' said "Well done, good and faithful servant".

Yep. Mmhmm.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Hank, Why do Ya Drink?

Hey, y'all:

Well, oncest again, I'm past due on a blog post. I finally got all these foster kids outta my house, so now I can catch up a little.

I gotta tell ya.....I ain't been feelin' too good lately an' git tired real easy. My mom says it's prolly a lifetime o' sluggin' PBR (pppphhhhht!). I'm thinkin' I picked up a case o' that Agent Orange in 'Nam. Hail, who knows.

Speakin' o' drinkin'.....I gotta admit I had a few too many the other day an' FELL in the POOOOL!

No worries, y'all! I swum my way tuh the top!

Aint Laura an' Sal an' Toby stopped by one day fer a visit. Aint Laura bought us cheeseboogers! Here I am restin' my full gut.

It's been a real nice spring here in Indiana so me an' mom been spending some time out in the yard (when I ain't nappin', that is.) Here's a pitcher dad snapped of us.

Now I know whut y'all are prolly thinkin'. Y'all are prolly thinkin' "Hail! Whut's a big strong handsome pug man like HANK doin' all snuggled up in his MOM's arms???"

Well, whut can I say? I guess I'll always be "Mommy's Little Guy".

Yep. Mmhmm.