Boy howdy, tuhday was a day like no other.
Me an' my folks went tuh bed last night an' I felt like I'd been hit by a truck I tell ya what. Next thing I knew, I woke up 'bout four in the mornin' in THE most beautiful place this side o' the Bluegrass State (that's Kintucky, ya know). There was all these good-lookin' gals standin' over me - they looked like ANGELS! They was all excited an' worked up an' gigglin' (you know how gals are) an' said "Welcome home, Hanklin D!!!"
Now you can imagine my confewsion - not only 'cause I dint know whut the hail they were talkin' 'bout but buhcause I din't need help standin' up an' my tail wuz curled up tighter than a gnat's butt stretched over a rain barrel. So I said, "Uh, gals....ya wanna tell me whut's goin' on??". They all moved aside tuh let this one
step forward, an' holy mother o' GAWD it wuz my gal pal PAYTON!!!
Payton told me that this place was the Rainbow Bridge. Now I've heard a lot about RB but it is a sight tuh buhold I tell ya what. ALLLLL kinds o' junk that yer mom never let ya eat an' ice-cold PBR flows from a big ol' red, white an' blue fountain! WINGO!!!
Me an' Payton made our way through the fields an' flowers an' soon enough it was a big ol' reunion.....my sisters Becca an' O'Mally (still flappin' her jaws, o' course), Emmitt, Stubby, Betty, Lilo, Maggie, Carson, Yoda. Hail, I was even glad tuh see Tiko, the old bat of a cat I used tuh live with. My gawd it was good tuh be with my friends again! We all hugged an' laughed an' chased each other around like a buncha young pups! Good times I tell ya what.
Anyhoo...they caught some ZZZs after all that so I took a little stroll tuh git the lay o' the land, an' YOU are NOT gonna BUHLIEVE who I come acrosst.....The Good Lord Hisself!! I swear tuh GAWD I did!!!
Now I gotta admit.....it was perty intimidatin' meetin' The Ol' Boy face tuh face, but He put me right at ease. He assed me tuh walk with Him an' we had a real nice conversation. (He even fergave me fer killin' fitty men in 'Nam!) Perty soon the sun was settin' an' it was gittin' time tuh flop on a cloud bed, but I had a important question. I said "Uh...God, sir......this is one helluva place an' I am honored tuh be in yer presence, but I don't git why I'm here. I thought a fella had tuh do somethin' REAL important tuh make it tuh The Bridge. I mean, I never really done nothin' that special on earth.
I just helped my dad around the house
an' watched over O'Mally
an' made room fer some foster kids
an' gave folks a few laughs an' smiles.
Yeah, sure, everbuddy I met felt like they'd made a friend but that's no big dill".
Well, I am here tuh tell YOU. That Ol' Boy picked me up, gave me a BIG squeeze, scratched my ears, an' said "Well done, good and faithful servant".
8 years ago