The Punkin Caper

Hey, y'all:


My grammaw (mom's mom) wrote a story 'bout me an' O'Mally!

Now buhfore ya read it, there's a couple o' things ya gotta know:


1. US 40 is Washington Street. But me an' a lot o' other hoosiers pernounce it "Worshington".

2. Grammaw drives a silver PT Cruiser.

3. The ol' gal can't remember O'Mally's name an' calls 'er "Molly McGurk".


Got that? Okay, on with the story............



Once upon a time, there were two sorta good pugs. They were brother and sister, Hank and Molly. One day, Molly and Hank saw some big, orange balls in the yard. "What is THAT?!?" they excitedly asked their mommy. "They are pumpkins, and I got them at the pumpkin patch."

Molly and Hank both jumped up and down and asked if they could go to the "punkin patch", but Mommy said, "No, there are far too many people there, and someone might step on your toe, and that would hurt." "Yeah, Molly," grinned Hank, the tease. "And somebody might drop a punkin on yer haid and squorsh it - the punkin, that is." Then he laughed maniacally.

When Mommy left the room, Molly turned her big eyes on Hank. "Oh, Hank..." she purred (the neighbor's cat had taught her how), "would you like to earn half a Twinkie?" He skewered her with his one steely eye and asked suspiciously, "Whut fer?" "Well", said Molly in her sweetest yap, "I would give you half my Twinkie if you would go find the punkin patch and come back and tell me all about it. Hank licked his chops and thought about it for about 2 seconds; "Okay, I'll just follow the signs that say "This Way to The Punkin Patch." Molly gave her brother the half Twinkie, and he bolted (well, for him) out the door, licking the cream filling off his lips. Molly laughed evily as she hid the other half Twinkie to have later while Hank was being grounded for disobeying.

Hank was right; as soon as he reached Highway 40 he noted signs saying "This Way to The Punkin Patch." So he followed them for about a mile, and was so excited to see before him, a huge, Huge, HUGE pile of pumpkins, and hundreds of people picking out their favorites. Oh, it was wonderful! He ran from here to there, enjoying all the sights, forgetting what Mommy had told him. Then suddenly, a lady with two punkins in her arms stepped back and accidentally stepped on his toe. Ow!! That hurt so bad that he yelped several times, scaring the lady, and she dropped one of the punkins, almost on his haid, and he ran, the orange devil rolling after him like a goblin in a frenzy. Oh, he wished he had listened to Mommy and not been so greedy! He ran and ran as fast as he could, with the punkin getting closer and closer. Finally he got to Highway 40, and taking his chances with the traffic, ran across the VERY busy street, but the punkin got smashed to smithereens by a silver PT Cruiser who seemed to swerve down on the hapless gourd, out of nowhere.

The Hankster was so scared by the time he got home, his mommy threw her arms around him and asked why he was trembling. "Uh, well, ya' see..." then he noticed Molly in the background smiling. "I was outside in the yard and, uh, I saw a bad man grab an old lady's purse and run off. Well, I felt so sorry for her that I chased him all the way down to Worshington Street, made a mighty lunge and threw my muscular body against him, which sent him to the ground in an unconscious heap, grabbed the purse with my teeth, and took it back to the owner.

Mommy's eyes welled up with tears, "Oh my brave, brave boy-I am SO proud of you, and just for that, I think you deserve a reward, so even though you already had your Twinkie for today, I'm going to let you have another one, because of your bravery." Boy, was Molly McGurk pissed. The end.



We think grammaw can spin a perty good yarn!


Yep. Mmhmm.