Adventures in Babysittin'

Hey, y'all:


'Member how last summer I said I was lookin' fer a job? Well, I found one.


Now as y'all prolly know, I'm not real fond o' kids.....always up in yer face, an' screamin' an' actin' a fool. BUTT....me an' mom are fosterin' a real nice five-month-old kid that come intuh the Kentuckiana Pug Rescue. She dint have a name (ain't that sad?) so we're callin 'er "Cutie".






Yeah, she ain't like most kids. She's real quite and kinda polite! I been showin' the kid around the house an' ennertainin' 'er with stories 'bout my tour o' dooty in Da Nang. As you can see, I got 'er on the edge of 'er seat.






Mom took 'er to the Petco yesterday an' got 'er this jacket - the kid gits cold perty easy!






Anyhoo, she's been doin' real good with goin' tuh the terlit outside. (I showed 'er all the good spots.)






Hail, she's such a nice kid she even stopped tuh bow 'er head an' pray in our memory garden.






"Come on, kid. Don't be shy. Say hi tuh all my blog pals!"






"Yeah, yeah, I know. I smell funny. You will, TOO when you git old!"






So after I done some potty trainin' we headed back inside tuh warm up. Check out this little face. I bet I was this cute when I was a kid.






Yep, so that's all the news that's fit tuh print. I'll keep ya updated on the kid. This babysittin' gig ain't too bad! I think ever'thing's gonna work out fine, an'.......





AWWWWWWWWWWWWW, HAAAAIIILLLLLLL!!!!!!! SHE DONE STOLE MY BINKY!!!!!!!!






Yep. Mmhmm.

Joe Jack's Rockin' New Year's Eve

HAPPY NEW YEAR, Y'ALL!!!



('Scuse me whilst I adjust this ice pack on my melon.)


Okay, that's better.


So anyhoo, hope y'all had a fun new year's eve. My folks went to a party, an' I went tuh Joe Jack's Rockin' New Year's Eve......WINGO! Joe Jack throws the best parties I tell ya what. He don't skimp on the PBR an' BBQ cocktail weenies.


Speakin' o' weenies....this was his kid brother Ivan's first new year's eve. Yeah, you know how KIDS are....can't hold their liquor an' start actin' a FOOL I tell ya what.


I hollered at Joe Jack tuh bring me summa them weenies, an' Ivan flops on the couch an' does THIS. Yeah, real funny.






"I done TOLD ya, Ivan!! We AIN'T playin' Nekkit Twister!!!!"






Sigh........GAWD. Anyways, tuhnight I was enjoyin' a after-dinner binky that my galpal Payton sent me when I started thinkin' 'bout whut kinda new year's resolution I should make. I chewed it over a bit but I just can't think o' nothin' I need tuh change 'bout myself.






Well, maybe ONE thing. I resolve tuh let mom scratch my chin as much as she wants. Yeah, it's a gonna be a struggle I tell ya what but I think I can han'le it.








Yep. Mmmhmm.

Hank the Homerphobe

Yep. Mmhmm.

I Lost a Bet

Hey, y'all (sigh):



Me an' JoeJack had a bet on the World Series. He had St. Louis. I had Texas (in support o' my pal, Howard Pee Pugpants).


Well, unless ya been livin' in a cave, I don't haftuh tell ya how THAT turned out. The wager was a case o' PBR, an' the loser had tuh put on a dress an' prance around the front yard.


Alright. Let's git this over with. (Cringe!!!)






GAWD, this is embarrassin'!!!






Yep, here I am by the roseboosh - lookin' like a big frootcake.







Okay, I done my thing. Now git me back in the house, mom, bufore that frisky Doberman down the street gits ahold o' me!!!!




Yep. Mmhmm.

I vuntuh suck yer blood!

Hey, y'all:


Count Hankula here! Now I don't like wearin' costumes (they're fer girls an' sissies) but since it's Halloweenie time I figgered I'd oblige y'all with a pitcher.


Anyhoo.....lots o' stuff has been goin' on around here since I last blogged. My folks went tuh Florida at the beginnin' o' this month. Now normally, I'd be perty honked off BUTT I got tuh stay with Ms. Liz an' JoeJack fer a few days! Ms. Liz let me stay in the house the whole time an' gave me cheese AN' let me sleep in 'er bedroom! It woulda been a whole lot better if that dang Ivan (JoeJack's punk little brother) woulda let me sleep on the bed, but Ms. Liz fixed me a pile o' blankets on the floor so it was all good.


My mom's all hot in the pants 'cause she bought a new swimmin' pool an' dad's been buildin' a deck. Now I'm not too happy 'bout this 'cause that means she's gonna make me SWIM next summer (her an' 'er dang "hydrotherapy"), but I agreed tuh help dad with the job.






Did a little shoppin' with Sal at the Petco last weekened.....





(Now shoppin' is a lot like wearin' a costume.....it's fer girls an' sissies. BUTT shoppin' fer snacks is a WHOLE differ'nt story.)





Okay, so I've saved the best news fer last. This'll REALLY knock yer socks off.



I GOT A GALFRIEND!!!!!!


Yep, I managed tuh snag the pertiest, sweetest gal this side o' St. Louie - PUGNACIOUS P!!!


Here's a pitcher o' us on our first official date (you can almost SEE my heart poundin'!). We wuz at Ellie's first birthday party.






I wanted tuh make a good impression on Payton's mom an' dad (an' Gampy!) so here I am serenadin' 'er mom (an' hopin' fer a little snack!).






It's been a LONG time since I've had a galfriend I tell ya what. Maybe I should schedule my tooth cleanin' appointment sooner than later!



Yep. Mmhmm.

Cause fer Celebration!

Hey, y'all:


First off, I finally got my driver's license back. (Had a little, uh, "incident" back in my younger years. Seems there's some sorta "open container law".)

Anyhoo, check 'er out!






Second, I just noticed my last post was my HUNNERDTH!!!!


So I'm havin' a big celebration tuhnight! An' no......I won't be poppin' any tops 'til I git back from the Krogers.



Yep. Mmhmm.

Whut I Done on my Summer Vacation Part 2

Hey, y'all:


I'm back with the second part o' my trip!


After a good night's sleep in the fancy hotel, me an' mom hit the road an' headed south tuh Oklahomer!

I napped fer whut seemed like two minutes an' when I opened my eyes we was at Kelly an' Pearl's house!

Well, hey there, Pearl, honey!




Now she's a nice enough gal but Miss Kelly says she's "socially awkward". I don't know whut that means, but all I know is she kept whimperin' an' whinin' an' followin' me around an' stickin' her nose in my whatnot!!!



Here's Miss Kelly tryin' tuh calm the ol' gal down. Me, I dint care. I was just hopin' Pearl's dad would share his popcorn with me. (Which he DID! WINGO!)














Now don't git me wrong......I love Miss Kelly an' Pearl but this hen house was gittin' tuh me after a while - all that squawkin' an' laughin' an' carryin' on. I reminded mom we had somebuddy else tuh visit, so we hit the road an' headed north tuh Tulsa......


ARLO, BUDDY!




Boy, was I glad tuh git back in some guy company (no offense, Kelly an' Pearl). We met Arlo an' Penni an' Penni's grammaw at the Joe Station Bark Park.

('Scuse me folks; it's been a long drive!)




That Miss Penni is somethin'! Look at this nice welcome package.....cookies fer mom, an' fer ME......dog cookies an' a PBR!!!!! WINGO!!!!!




Here's me tellin' Arlo 'bout my day with Pearl an' the gals........




Me an' Arlo took a break from jawjackin' tuh git a pitcher with our moms.




Thanks fer the warm welcome, Arlo an' Miss Penny! Perty soon, the sun started tuh set, so we hit the road tuh git back to our fancy hotel in Missouri.


The next mornin' we was headed back up tuh Indy when mom spotted signs fer "Meremec Caverns" in Sullivan, Missouri. (Word has it that Jesse James hid out in them caverns!)


I'll lead the way, mom, just in case that Jesse James fella shows up.




GAWD, that river water felt good on my hooves!




Aw, hail.....why din't I bring my fishin' pole??




Looky here.....they even had ziplinin'!




We coulda spent the whole day on that riverbank, but I had tuh git back tuh the car. I had a ice-cold PBR with my name on it! (Thanks again, Penni, honey!)





Now no trip tuh Missouri is complete without a stop at the Purina Farms in Gray Summit, MO!




Look at that spread o' land! And that ain't even HALF of it!




Open up, people......I know there's FOOD in there!




See?! Whud I tell ya???





So after we made tracks on the farm an' watched a dog agility show (whutever THAT is), mom put the pedal tuh the metal an' dint stop (well, 'cept tuh take a wizz) 'til we got back tuh Indy.....an' it was pert near MIDNIGHT.


Now I wanna finish up here by sayin' whut a HOT DANG time we had seein' our friends an' explorin'. It was the best trip o' my life I tell ya what. I'm gonna leave you with a pitcher o' me an' the one I love.....the BEST travelin' partner a guy could ass fer.








Kinda brings a tear to yer eye, don't it?



Yep. Mmhmm.