Thursday, December 23, 2010
I don't know about you-uns, but I ain't a mornin' person. 'Specially COLD mornin's!
Fergit it, O'Mally. I ain't goin' out.
I'll make ya a deal. You go check out the weather an' I'll share my fried chicken with ya.
"Okay, Hanklin.....it's twenty degrees, but the sun is shining!
Now where's that fried chicken you promised?"
WHUT fried chicken??? I think ya need yer ears (an' BRAIN) checked!!!
CRONCH, MONCH, SLURP, SMACK, SNORT.....GAWD, I love fried chicken!!!
Now buhfore y'all start whinin' "Oh, POOR O'Mally!!!", she's found somethin' she likes even better than fried chicken......
That should keep the old bird outta my hair fer a while. Now I'm gonna kick back, enjoy the ceegar Aunt Laura gave me, an' dream about all them goodies Santy's gonna bring me fer Christmas.
Aw, hail, I can't find my cutter. 'Scuse me while I bite the tip off.
Here's hopin' the ol' boy brings YOU ever'thing ya want!
Merry Christmas I tell ya what!
Thursday, December 9, 2010
We got some COLD weather goin' on here in Induhnapuhluhs!
Mom assed Aunt Cindy tuh git some pitchers of us fer our Christmas card. (I don't know WHY we couldn'tuh done it at our house on the couch but nobuddy assed ME.)
Hail, it was so dang windy it nearly blowed my hat off!!!
An' if THAT wasn't bad enough, check THIS out........
Next year I'm sendin' out my OWN Christmas cards.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
My grammaw (mom's mom) wrote a story 'bout me an' O'Mally!
Now buhfore ya read it, there's a couple o' things ya gotta know:
1. US 40 is Washington Street. But me an' a lot o' other hoosiers pernounce it "Worshington".
2. Grammaw drives a silver PT Cruiser.
3. The ol' gal can't remember O'Mally's name an' calls 'er "Molly McGurk".
Got that? Okay, on with the story............
Once upon a time, there were two sorta good pugs. They were brother and sister, Hank and Molly. One day, Molly and Hank saw some big, orange balls in the yard. "What is THAT?!?" they excitedly asked their mommy. "They are pumpkins, and I got them at the pumpkin patch."
Molly and Hank both jumped up and down and asked if they could go to the "punkin patch", but Mommy said, "No, there are far too many people there, and someone might step on your toe, and that would hurt." "Yeah, Molly," grinned Hank, the tease. "And somebody might drop a punkin on yer haid and squorsh it - the punkin, that is." Then he laughed maniacally.
When Mommy left the room, Molly turned her big eyes on Hank. "Oh, Hank..." she purred (the neighbor's cat had taught her how), "would you like to earn half a Twinkie?" He skewered her with his one steely eye and asked suspiciously, "Whut fer?" "Well", said Molly in her sweetest yap, "I would give you half my Twinkie if you would go find the punkin patch and come back and tell me all about it. Hank licked his chops and thought about it for about 2 seconds; "Okay, I'll just follow the signs that say "This Way to The Punkin Patch." Molly gave her brother the half Twinkie, and he bolted (well, for him) out the door, licking the cream filling off his lips. Molly laughed evily as she hid the other half Twinkie to have later while Hank was being grounded for disobeying.
Hank was right; as soon as he reached Highway 40 he noted signs saying "This Way to The Punkin Patch." So he followed them for about a mile, and was so excited to see before him, a huge, Huge, HUGE pile of pumpkins, and hundreds of people picking out their favorites. Oh, it was wonderful! He ran from here to there, enjoying all the sights, forgetting what Mommy had told him. Then suddenly, a lady with two punkins in her arms stepped back and accidentally stepped on his toe. Ow!! That hurt so bad that he yelped several times, scaring the lady, and she dropped one of the punkins, almost on his haid, and he ran, the orange devil rolling after him like a goblin in a frenzy. Oh, he wished he had listened to Mommy and not been so greedy! He ran and ran as fast as he could, with the punkin getting closer and closer. Finally he got to Highway 40, and taking his chances with the traffic, ran across the VERY busy street, but the punkin got smashed to smithereens by a silver PT Cruiser who seemed to swerve down on the hapless gourd, out of nowhere.
The Hankster was so scared by the time he got home, his mommy threw her arms around him and asked why he was trembling. "Uh, well, ya' see..." then he noticed Molly in the background smiling. "I was outside in the yard and, uh, I saw a bad man grab an old lady's purse and run off. Well, I felt so sorry for her that I chased him all the way down to Worshington Street, made a mighty lunge and threw my muscular body against him, which sent him to the ground in an unconscious heap, grabbed the purse with my teeth, and took it back to the owner.
Mommy's eyes welled up with tears, "Oh my brave, brave boy-I am SO proud of you, and just for that, I think you deserve a reward, so even though you already had your Twinkie for today, I'm going to let you have another one, because of your bravery." Boy, was Molly McGurk pissed. The end.
We think grammaw can spin a perty good yarn!
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Molly O'Mally here! (burp) Oh, excuse me!
Hanklin and I just finished our fourth second-helping and we are STUFFED! My goodness.....I am so full of tryptophan I can barely keep my eyes open!
Hope you all have a (yawning again) wonderful....zzzzzz.....SNORT...um, Thanksgiving weekend, and......snore, fap.....ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ......
WAIT A MINUTE........Did someone say "SHOPPING?!?!?!?!?!"
Monday, November 15, 2010
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Now I got lots tuh blog about (the weddin', pug weekend, an' awards) but fer now I gotta put out a A.P.B.!!!
There's this gal, Martha, who keeps leavin' real nice messages on my blog but when I click on 'er name it comes up sayin' somethin' 'bout "this here blogger is keepin' her profile private".
Now......I'm kinda hopin' it's THIS Martha wantin' tuh make me some snacks.
But whoever ya are.....Martha, honey.....make yerself known!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Well....I'm not gonna say me an' mom have been too busy tuh blog. We've just been lazy. Yep.
Anyhoo, we're so excited fer this weekend we could just BUST! Our pals, Sal and Pugsley are gonna have one o' them "civil ceremonies". Civil, huh? Guess that means I can't eat with my elbows on the table at this "ceremony".
Hail, all I know is we're gonna have a big party with all sorts o' blog buddies! We can't wait tuh meet y'all in pugson! Yep, me an' O'Mally got our gladrags set out, an' we can't wait tuh show ya how tuh party like a Hoosier!!!
'Cause let's be honest.....if me an' O'Mally can't show ya a good time, ya better check yer pulse.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Some guys like a after-dinner cigar. Me? I like a after-dinner binky.
Yep, nothin' like a beef binky tuh top off the evenin'.
Oh, an' speakin' o' after-dinner (an' breakfast an' lunch) treats.....check out whut mom scored at Kroger!
'Scuse me while I hit the fridge.
"Raspberries to YOU, O'Mally!!!"
"Finders keepers, losers weepers, Hanky!"
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Thirteen years old......
Molly O'Mally here! Yes, today is my birthday and what a whirlwind day it has been!
Hanklin borrowed Mommy's car and took me to the beauty parlor to get my hair done, the drugstore to get my prescriptions filled, the foot doctor, AND he bought my dinner at MCL cafeteria!
I'm not sure how he afforded all that - especially when just this morning Mommy was complaining that she ran out of lunch money! Hmmm.
Oh, well, back to ME. It was a lovely day, and we are about to top it off with some yummy vanilla cake!
"HURRY UP, MOMMY! YOU KNOW I CAN'T EAT PAST SEVEN O'CLOCK!!!"
(Thanks to Laura for the awesome pic!!!)
Sunday, August 1, 2010
My mom's at it again, singin' one o' her stoopid songs.....
"Oh, I love Hank in the morning and I love Hank at night.
Oh, I love Hank, yes I love Hank, when the stars are shining bright.
Oh, I love Hank in the spring time
and I love Hank in the fall.
But last night on the back porch
I loved Hank best of all!!!"
Oh, well. At least THIS time she's singin' 'bout ME.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Yep, it's my birfday. I am elevuhn years old tuhday! Now by my calc-uh-lations, that makes me seventy-seven in human years, and I shoulda been gittin' a check from the government fer the past twelve years! Uh, wait a minute......I wasn't even borned twelve years ago. Aw, hail, fergit THAT idea.
Anyhoo, it's hotter than hail here in Indy tuhday so I'm just gonna take it easy.
Dad, can't just us GUYS hang out tuhday?
No such luck. Me an' O'Mally went fer our baths tuhday.
BUTT.......you know whut birthdays mean. PBR an' CAKE!!!
Nom, nom, nom, slurp, smack............BURP. Dang, that's some gooood cake!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Molly O'Mally here!
We had an overnight guest this weekend.....Zero the French Bulldog.
Zero was surrendered to the French Bulldog Rescue Network and needed to get from Chicago to Tennesee! Aunt Shannon gave mommy a jingle since mommy was headed down to Kentucky on Saturday for KPR's Pugapalooza; Zero's new foster mom in Tennesee drove up to KY to get him.
Since he's a young little guy (13 months!), I told Hanky no dirty jokes or offering PBR. We really WERE on our best behavior!
I offered him a rest in my bed.....
and invited him to sit in the recliner with our daddy....
Hank eventually made his way over to chat up Zero....
Well! Before we knew it, young Zero proved to be a disrespectful little whipper snapper who needed a great big KNOT jerked in his tail!!!
"WHOA! Hold up, junior! All I said was the MTV an' vidyuh games will rot yer brain!"
Listen here, Sonny! I may be old and half blind and half deaf, but I can kick, stretch and KICK! And NOBODY treats my Bubby like that!!!
It's okay, Bubby.....I'll protect you.
What are YOU lookin' at???
You want a piece of THIS?!?!?!?