Take it from me.......ya only gotta floss the ones ya wanna keep.
Last Friday I went an' seen Dr. Mills fer whut I THOUGHT was gonna be a little gloss n' floss. Well, I am embarrassed tuh say that I had NINE teeth pulled! The ol' boy said I got somethin' called paireeohdontuhl duhsease. Now I'm not exactly sure whut that is but maybe it's 'cause I don't own a toothbrush. I dunno.
Anyhoo, I did enjoy meetin' the ol' boy - perty nice fella. No wonder O'Mally always yaps about how great he is. Here's me an' him before I got the bad news.
So a hour an' a half later, I'm nine teeth lighter an' at LEAST three sheets to the wind I tell ya what! Boy howdy I was hepped up on goofballs like nobuddy's business!
Hey, bud! Can't ya warm up that stethuhscope?!?! Whut's that ya say? My ticker's runnin' a little slow? Aw, hail, that's no big deal......shoot, I once drank so much PBR my dad had tuh hook the jumper cables up to me!
Uh........a shot??? Sure! I'll take a shot o' tequila.....oh, an' don't fergit the lime an' salt. Boy howdy this is MY kinda doctor's office!!!
Now THAT is dirty pool, mister!!! Dirty pool. (An' ya gotta git a GIRL tuh do yer dirty work!)
Miss Ronda.....I don't feel so good. Will ya snuggle me fer awhile?
Well, anyways.....I survived, an' not a minute too soon 'cause the next day was Apollo's twenty-first birthday!
I am proud as a peacock tuh say I bought him his first beer!
(Jami, honey.....kinda looks like you'd already been hittin' the sauce! Tee hee!)
Mom said we had tuh git a nice family pitcher buhfore ever'body (ME) started gittin' drunk.
Here's Sal clingin' to his grammaw. Come on, bud....loosen up! It's a party!
Check this out! Apollo was so buzzed he thought he'd pass out in my bass boat! HAHAHA! Whatta light weight!
The party really heated up when Maggie started wrastlin' Apollo an' screechin' "Who's yer mama?!?! Who's yer mama?!?!".
O'Mally needed a break from all the fun (you know old people), so she decided tuh take a stroll by the pond.
Meanwhile, me an' Harles J. kept the ladies entertained......
Oh, gawd.....O'Mally's yappin' at me tuh put in another pitcher o' HER.
'Fore we knew it, we closed the place an' it was time tuh go. My little pal Yoda was over it fer sure!
Now I want it to be known that I din't drink TOO much 'cause I know the dangers o' mixing goofballs an' alcohol.
Sos with that disclaimer (an' my goofballs) outta the way, I am headin' to the fridge fer a cold one.